My first period.
I got my first period when I was 12 years old and it was terrible. Period was one of taboo topic when I was small in Nepal. My mother didn’t really told a lot about it to me. We rarely discussed the topic, all I knew was one day I will get my period and I have to hide from my father . It angers me to thinks that I grew up with such a poor mindset. All the women around me taught me that it was sin to see a male especially my father and brothers when I get my first period. And also I was not supposed to stay in my house and I had to go in other people house and stay up to 32 days. I get boiled up every time to think I was a victim of such a stupid superstition.
I was scared of the thought that I had to go in someone else house and hence when I got my first period I didn’t tell anyone about it. I hid it to myself, I wore a piece of cloth as a pad as thought the blood will go away in 2–3 days. I tried my best to hide it from everyone but it was out of control, I begun to bleed a lot and I didn’t had a lots of clothes to use, so I used one and washed it and wear the same one wet because if I wash the clothes and dry it my mother would find out about it. I just want to go back and tell my younger self that it was okay and I would get help if I tell my mother. I spent 3–4 days in such poor condition and my mother eventually found out about it and took me to my cousin’s house, we both cried a lot. Although it was someone else house and bed, I got a pad to wear and didn’t have to live hiding and suffering alone. My cousin was very helpful, she was elder than me and was in medical field so she gave me lot of education about period. And so I spent 32 days in her house, I missed my dad so much. I came back to my house after 32 days and did the same hiding thing up to my third period but the second and third time I hid in my own house. I was comfortable but still the hiding from my dad is such a nonsense tradition.
Although my first period was worse, I sometimes feel lucky that now I get to sleep in my own house and bed in my period. Many women in rural area of Nepal still face the situation much worse than me. One of the most horrendous tradition is “Chaupadi” which is still commonly practiced in western part of Nepal. This is social tradition where women become untouchable and have to live in a sperate hut far from home during their monthly period. It’s like they are getting punishment for being women. Due to which many women are being victim of rape, extreme weather and wild animal attack. Many organizations are working towards this problem. I hope this inhuman tradition will soon be eradicated.
Even in urban area many girls still can’t go inside their kitchen and temple when they are on their period. People are much more educated here but still the tradition has such a deep rooted effect to us that we can’t leave it behind. I am also the victim of that tradition, I am not allowed to go inside my kitchen and temple when I am on my period and also my grandmother won’t even touch me. Sometime I just want to slap some sense into my parents and grandmother. But I get scolded if I ever try to talk to them against it. Now I just helplessly obey them even though I know it is wrong.
I have given up on changing my parents now. It’s like I am trying to put sense in donkey. It’s not anything extreme but the fact I can’t go inside my kitchen and temple bothers me very much. Many time I secretly have made food in kitchen and went to temple when I am on my period but still the little guilt “if I am doing something wrong” deep inside me that my society has planted on doesn’t leave me. I will make sure that my daughter won’t have this guilt inside her. I will educate her in every possible way about period so that she won’t face the problem I faced when I got my first period.
I feel that “dignified menstruation” is gateway to many other women related problems as well. Let’s say our parents didn’t have that education about menstruation in their time but now we should really weed out the on going mal practice from our society about period. We should now make our mindset broad and change the world and for that we should start the change from ourselves.
